Notes:

I noticed something last year when I collected thirty-seven years worth of journals. First of all I was shocked that I've journaled since I was fifteen.  I actually burned the diaries from my teenage years.  That decade was documented in battered, spiral bound notebooks which were quite ordinary to the point of being painful.  They weren't good "memoir" material and I couldn't keep carrying all that baggage!

Me at around 11 1/2 at St. Michael's Catholic School in West St. Paul, MN

In this very examined life I've noticed a few tendencies.  I'm incredibly consistent, goal oriented and passionate about the people I love and the things I do.  (I didn't realize how consistent until I looked at five crates of handwritten diaries!)  I haven't always appreciated my life and it's taken me three and a half decades to realize that there is no benefit in beating myself up over imagined failures.  I'm actually very successful and I'm good at pretty much anything I put my mind to.  My life is rich and complex, simple and delicious.  I have no regrets and don't plan on having any!  One of my new goals is to spend the next fifty years celebrating my successes.  I'm sure my tomorrow self will do some phenomenal things and she'll appreciate the ease and joy I bring to my life now.

At this point I'll loop back and imagine my eleven and a half year old self looking into the future.  She thinks she has to do big, important things.  Now I know that it's the little things that become the big ones.  Perfection is just one mistake away.  (That can be a bit of a nemesis but my present day self knows that nothing is ever perfect! Nor would I want it to be.) She can be messy on occasion but is good at creating beauty.  She realizes that mistakes mean she's doing something. She reads and writes, draws, paints, runs barefoot on the beach.  Hmmm, she's looking very familiar.  I think she also likes iceskating and snow forts.  She's certainly managed to be true to herself!

I've underestimated the power of a lifetime of following through on a compulsion to create.  I often slow down to write in my journals.

One of my students in a Studio Channel
Islands Journaling workshop in 2012

As a teacher and artist I'm ready to share some of this with other people.  I have developed a course in Art Journaling that incorporates creative writing, multi-sensory prompts and mixed media art techniques to help you start your own journaling practice.

My next workshop is April 20 from 9 AM- 4PM at Studio Channel Islands Art Center in Camarillo, CA.  There are multiple hotels in walking distance from the Studios and we're three blocks from the Amtrak station so it's easy to get here and there are great places to visit while you're here.  I'm also in the process of booking an East Coast venue in Raleigh/ Durham North Carolina.  The full day intensive workshop will include materials, a continental breakfast and lunch.  I'll update my web registrations this weekend and you can register online or contact me directly at mgking@mac.com.  Pricing is $195.

Wow, I've graduated from mangled spiral notebooks written to the background of American Pie to teaching my very own class.  Cool.

Now go back and read this while you listen to:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMlzfpwJZuc
Good God I love that song!  It was the theme song for the spiral bound notebooks.

From the Heart

Some things need few words.  Language only captures a minute fraction of our experience.  I want to say more but it's rather pointless.  This is why I paint.

Fire Eyes, 9"x12" oil on canvas

Defying Gravity

I saved this link to Idina Menzel's song from Wicked a couple of weeks ago.  Defying Gravity makes me cry EVERY time I hear it.  It expresses where I am in my life right now and helps me remember just how much I'm capable of.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_390681&feature=iv&src_vid=0eF06fNK3Ng&v=39gpaDnjW4I

You see I believe God has created each of us as a unique expression of herself.  I am a specific manifestation of creation that is here for a blink of an eye and I'm fortunate to have an awareness of who I am.  I'm also fortunate that I can choose what to do with this blink.

At this point I am in the process of reassessing my life's work.  I have a unique set of experiences and talents that I bring to the table.

I am an artist to the depths of my being.  I am an empathetic woman who can see multiple sides to most situations.  I am very good at living in the moment.  I observe for a long time before I take decisive action.  I'm not afraid to make mistakes.  I am a good communicator.  I am a natural teacher and am good at helping others recognize their own strengths.  I connect quickly and deeply with others.  I am a master at creating a sense of place and can transform any space into one of comfort and beauty.  I'm good at analysis.  I like to talk!  I have to move.

Two weeks ago I went to Joshua Tree National Park for a workshop called Enlightened Warrior Training Camp.  I went looking for clarity and focus.  I pushed myself physically and mentally and realized I've had both all along.  I just need to shed the habits of thought and action that no longer serve me and focus on the considerable strengths I've developed over my lifetime.

Now I'm pulling separate areas of my life into a streamlined whole.  (again....) My art and some of my basic habits are the underpinning of the whole thing.  But the swirl of possibilities I've been investigating has started to come together.  It includes creating art, teaching and sales. I'm developing some products and workshops related to living a creative life and am in training to become a public speaker.  I'm selling purses for Gigi Hill Handbags.  I love this motto from Gigi:  "We're changing women's lives one handbag at a time."  That kind of stated mission is very much in line with what I am doing and I'm making money right away.  Love it!

Oh, by the way,  developing my personal life is right up there!  I need to play more!

Here's the "to do" list that doesn't change from day to day:

eat well
rest well
exercise
meditate
do positive affirmations
track "points" or action steps towards my short and long term goals
celebrate my successes!
Gotta add PLAY!

Of course there are days where some or all of these things don't happen.  But over time those habits have developed who I am.  I keep this quote from the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu in mind:

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”   Lao Tzu

Here are the lyrics for  

"Defying Gravity."  No doubt they will resonate with my fellow Enlightened Warriors.  AHO!

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

Unlimited (Unlimited)
My future is unlimited (unlimited)
And I've just had a vision
Almost like a prophecy
I know - it sounds truly crazy
And true, the vision's hazy
But I swear, someday I'll be...

Flying so high! (Defying gravity)
Kiss me goodbye! (Defying gravity)

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"

I'm defying gravity!
And you won't bring me down!
Bring me down!
Bring me down!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_390681&feature=iv&src_vid=0eF06fNK3Ng&v=39gpaDnjW4I