Dreaming...

:) I just went through my "old" posts and found this one. It's worth publishing just to remind myself that the little things become the big things. I've been a little anxious about making progress on my latest BIG DREAM. This entry is from a time of great happiness and contentment when I knew I was doing all of the right things. Reminder to self,"Trust yourself, be kind."

No posts for a while... It's funny that I say that.  I used to beat myself up about not doing something "perfectly" every single day.  Then I started noticing some things.  I've kept journals of some kind since I was about 15.  I'd write the first ones at night in a spiral bound notebook and talk about things like my latest crush and what I was doing for homework.  I'd write for a few days or weeks, then take an unplanned break because of school, a social life or a general lack of motivation and come back to SLAM myself about not writing in my journal.

When I consolidated years of writing a couple of years ago I had two bank box files filled with them!  I destroyed some of the old high school books.  It wasn't because they were incriminating.  They were just boring and redundant. When re-reading them I did notice I was much happier in high school than I remembered. That was good.  It was nice to have the old me talk to the current me and share that.

I enjoyed peeks into my everyday life as a young business professional and then mother.  I saw my journey into a progressively more creative life.  It's the little things I chose to do every day (or most days) that have helped me to grow and develop into a healthy, well rested, active, happy, etc, person.  Those little things are what have made my life so special.  The big things come.  Recognition, a giant painting or exhibit, fitting into a gorgeous new dress, finishing a marathon.  All of those things are built from the little choices I make every day.  When I get up and do something different it's good to just enjoy that and keep looking at my goals.  I'll get there.  I always do!

Master Class

The other thing I learned from my past selves was that I need to be gentler with myself.  Over time I'm VERY consistent.  Thirty-five years of journaling can testify to that.  I'm glad I didn't do it every day!  I'd never be able to go through them all.
So, in spite of missed posts I know what I put in here is sufficient.  In the meantime I stay busy.  I've started filling my classes for fall!  My commissions are plugging along; I continue my Master's Classes with David Gallup; spend time with my friends; take road trips...